Asking to go home
“Home” may mean a familiar place, a person they miss, or a feeling of comfort and safety—even when they are already at home.
Check first
- Do they seem frightened, lonely, or unsure where they are?
- Is the room noisy, unfamiliar, or overwhelming?
- Could they be hungry, tired, uncomfortable, or needing the toilet?
- Does this happen at a particular time of day?
Try this
- 1Acknowledge their feelings. Say, “You’re missing home.” Give them time to respond rather than repeatedly explaining where they live.
- 2Offer reassurance and familiarity. Sit nearby, speak gently, and offer a familiar blanket, photograph, or favourite music. Hold their hand if they welcome it.
- 3Gently invite another activity. Once they feel heard, suggest a drink, a snack, or a short walk together if safe. If it increases their distress, pause and try something else.
Words to try
- “You’re missing home. I’m here with you.”
- “Tell me about your home.”Only ask if talking about it feels comforting.
- “Let’s sit together for a little while.”
- “Would you like a cup of tea with me?”
Avoid promising a trip home that you cannot provide.
Emergency instruction
If they go missing, contact emergency services immediately. In Canada, call 911.
Keep it safe
- If they are trying to leave, stay with them and calmly offer to walk together somewhere safe. Avoid arguing or pulling them back. Ask for help if you cannot keep the situation safe.
What helped today?
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When to seek help
- Seek prompt medical advice if this starts suddenly or comes with much greater confusion or other new symptoms.
- If distress or attempts to leave keep happening, contact their healthcare team for support and a safety plan.
A gentle reminder
You do not have to find the perfect answer. Feeling heard and having someone beside them may bring comfort, even if the question returns.
General caregiving information; adapt it to your loved one’s needs and care plan.