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Struggling with meals

Dementia can make it harder to recognise food, use utensils, or remember how to begin eating. Discomfort or changes in appetite may also play a part.

Check first

  • Could they have a sore mouth, dry mouth, or poorly fitting dentures?
  • Are they tired, constipated, or uncomfortable?
  • Is the food too hot or too cold?
  • Can they see the food clearly against the plate?
  • Are they coughing, struggling to chew, or holding food in their mouth?

Try this

  1. 1Make the meal easy to see. Use a plain plate that contrasts with the food and the table. A blue plate may help light-coloured food stand out. Keep the table uncluttered.
  2. 2Offer a little at a time. Start with a small portion of familiar food. Try one food at a time if choices feel overwhelming. Offer finger foods only if they can chew and swallow them safely.
  3. 3Sit together and give time. Reduce distractions, gently explain what is on the plate, and demonstrate eating if helpful. Offer simple prompts without rushing or pressuring them.

Words to try

  • “Here is your favourite soup.”
  • “Let’s have lunch together.”
  • “Your spoon is beside your plate.”
  • “Would you like a little more?”

Emergency instruction

If they are choking and cannot breathe, speak, or cough effectively, call 911 and provide choking first aid if you know how.

Keep it safe
  • Offer food and drinks only when they are fully awake and sitting upright. Check the temperature and allow time between mouthfuls.
  • Follow any prescribed swallowing plan. Do not introduce thickened drinks or change prescribed food textures without professional advice.
  • If they cough, choke, or develop a wet or gurgly voice during meals, pause the meal and seek advice about swallowing.
What helped today?

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When to seek help
  • Contact their healthcare provider about ongoing poor intake, weight loss, mouth pain, or signs of dehydration.
  • New swallowing difficulties need prompt assessment; a speech-language pathologist can help.
A gentle reminder

A large meal can feel overwhelming. Smaller meals offered more often may be easier. Your calm company can make mealtimes more comfortable.

General caregiving information; adapt it to your loved one’s needs and care plan.